Hello Arc Flash-Fanatics! It’s your truly with a little play-by-play in yet another successful campaign to clean up Venture City. You’ve seen the vids of the Maniax and there poor sense of fashion and penchant for random acts of violence. Certainly this is a crew that needed to end, and who better to do that than the good people at Midas Multinational…like yours truly. We’ve been working through their ranks for some time, but we finally whittled them down to a small few. And then we tracked those few down to an abandoned warehouse. You know the one that used to house Packard’s Packing Company before they went under.
You would think these ass-clowns would have holed up better knowing that me and my crew were systematically taking them out, but these morons actually decided to have a mini-rave with their boss on the premises. Oh…oh…oh, get this. The boss’ name was Crackpot. That alone deserved an ass-kicking.
So anyway, a small group of us went there to end the Maniax once and for all. You all remember Vixen…or at least remember the photos I posted….you’re welcome by the way. She was along for the ride to do what she does best. We also had Prophet. We had not worked together too much, but you know that when he is on the scene, things will get interesting. It seemed like overkill to send the three of us up against the 20 or so Maniax, but after the incident at Mr. Happy’s Funland, we wanted to put the hurt on them.
Okay…so to the action. Prophet just walks up to the front door and kicks it in. The first goon didn’t even know what hit him. Since you were not there to enjoy the moment, two things hit him. First the door, and then the wall. If memory serves this actually occurred repeatedly. Prophet is nothing if not thorough. That is when I popped onto the scene in all my glory. And as you know Fanatics, when I come onto the scene, things get electric. In this case, so much so that the power got blown. And into that blanket of darkness dropped Vixen. It was through the skylight on the roof. What made it particularly cool was that there was a flash of lightning just as the glass shattered like that scene in Deathmonger IV…you know the one where Dillan Thomas takes out the Triad at the end. Yeah…it was like that except sexier. I will give all of you a moment to take that scene in.
Now Vixen is not one to waste a cool entrance. She landed right next to Crackpot and in one move paralyzed his ass. I mean she is hot, but she is also deadly. Keep that in mind Fanatics should you see her at the next meet and greet. Don’t touch her…or make direct eye contact with her. Now you would think this would capture everyone’s attention, but there was so much more going on in that little warehouse. Prophet decided that swinging on a chain would also be pretty neat, and proceeded to do so. Kicking guys in the head in the process. In the meantime, these idiots are having a little mosh pit party in a puddle of water. A puddle of water, you say? Why yes, it was a puddle of water. Obviously you know what happened next, but what was more beautiful was as my electricity coursed through the natural conductor shocking our little party goers, it also created a strobe-like effect for the swinging Prophet (and I mean swinging on a chain not the, uh, other one – get your mind out of the gutters peeps). It was very surreal. I think that is why one of the Maniax failed to protect himself as Prophet launched himself into the clown.
“Wait, Arc Flash,” you say, “While we love your escapades and all around coolness, tell us what is going on with the lovely Vixen.” Very well. She had quickly dispatched Crackpot’s two bodyguards and had made her way to the catwalk above to knock some heads around up there. Honestly, the rest is a bit of a butt-kicking blur. I think the Maniax shot some guns or something. Who they were shooting at I couldn’t tell you because in the span of one minute and eight seconds the Maniax were done. You saw the steaming vid (if not, click [here]). My favorite moment was at the 0:08 mark. Look at Crackpot’s face as he gets paralyzed from the neck down…priceless. Or at the 0:20 mark when the little moshers are dancing to the tune of my electric awesomeness. Or at the 0:41 mark when Prophet goes flying into the clown. You know…just watch the whole thing.
I wish we could say that we got the rest of the night off, but this city won’t clean itself up. We were tipped off to some crimey stuff going on at a warehouse down by the southside docks. The three of us decided to head on over there to take care of business. While Vixen scoped out the place, Prophet and I shared a bag of PriceCo Sun Chips. ‘PriceCo Sun Chips, get hip to the chip’ TM. Well, Vixen can’t have all the fun so we eventually all went in and found that these skull-masked hooligans were trying to rob the place. We felt that they may be interested in the Midas experience…much like the Maniax…so we obliged. They went down quickly, but not before some of them peeled off. In fact, it is as we are after them that I am posting this. I guess I should get back to focusing on the situation at hand, but I know those streaming vids leave you wanting more. And who am I but a humble servant to my Fanatics.
So I leave you with this week’s safety tip: “If you don’t practice electrical safety, there can be electrifying results.”