Eternals Elseworlds

Episode 1-1: Welcome to Venture City!

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Hello Arc Flash-Fanatics! It’s your truly with a little play-by-play in yet another successful campaign to clean up Venture City. You’ve seen the vids of the Maniax and there poor sense of fashion and penchant for random acts of violence. Certainly this is a crew that needed to end, and who better to do that than the good people at Midas Multinational…like yours truly. We’ve been working through their ranks for some time, but we finally whittled them down to a small few. And then we tracked those few down to an abandoned warehouse. You know the one that used to house Packard’s Packing Company before they went under.

You would think these ass-clowns would have holed up better knowing that me and my crew were systematically taking them out, but these morons actually decided to have a mini-rave with their boss on the premises. Oh…oh…oh, get this. The boss’ name was Crackpot. That alone deserved an ass-kicking.

So anyway, a small group of us went there to end the Maniax once and for all. You all remember Vixen…or at least remember the photos I posted….you’re welcome by the way. She was along for the ride to do what she does best. We also had Prophet. We had not worked together too much, but you know that when he is on the scene, things will get interesting. It seemed like overkill to send the three of us up against the 20 or so Maniax, but after the incident at Mr. Happy’s Funland, we wanted to put the hurt on them.

Okay…so to the action. Prophet just walks up to the front door and kicks it in. The first goon didn’t even know what hit him. Since you were not there to enjoy the moment, two things hit him. First the door, and then the wall. If memory serves this actually occurred repeatedly. Prophet is nothing if not thorough. That is when I popped onto the scene in all my glory. And as you know Fanatics, when I come onto the scene, things get electric. In this case, so much so that the power got blown. And into that blanket of darkness dropped Vixen. It was through the skylight on the roof. What made it particularly cool was that there was a flash of lightning just as the glass shattered like that scene in Deathmonger IV…you know the one where Dillan Thomas takes out the Triad at the end. Yeah…it was like that except sexier. I will give all of you a moment to take that scene in.

Now Vixen is not one to waste a cool entrance. She landed right next to Crackpot and in one move paralyzed his ass. I mean she is hot, but she is also deadly. Keep that in mind Fanatics should you see her at the next meet and greet. Don’t touch her…or make direct eye contact with her. Now you would think this would capture everyone’s attention, but there was so much more going on in that little warehouse. Prophet decided that swinging on a chain would also be pretty neat, and proceeded to do so. Kicking guys in the head in the process. In the meantime, these idiots are having a little mosh pit party in a puddle of water. A puddle of water, you say? Why yes, it was a puddle of water. Obviously you know what happened next, but what was more beautiful was as my electricity coursed through the natural conductor shocking our little party goers, it also created a strobe-like effect for the swinging Prophet (and I mean swinging on a chain not the, uh, other one – get your mind out of the gutters peeps). It was very surreal. I think that is why one of the Maniax failed to protect himself as Prophet launched himself into the clown.

“Wait, Arc Flash,” you say, “While we love your escapades and all around coolness, tell us what is going on with the lovely Vixen.” Very well. She had quickly dispatched Crackpot’s two bodyguards and had made her way to the catwalk above to knock some heads around up there. Honestly, the rest is a bit of a butt-kicking blur. I think the Maniax shot some guns or something. Who they were shooting at I couldn’t tell you because in the span of one minute and eight seconds the Maniax were done. You saw the steaming vid (if not, click [here]). My favorite moment was at the 0:08 mark. Look at Crackpot’s face as he gets paralyzed from the neck down…priceless. Or at the 0:20 mark when the little moshers are dancing to the tune of my electric awesomeness. Or at the 0:41 mark when Prophet goes flying into the clown. You know…just watch the whole thing.

I wish we could say that we got the rest of the night off, but this city won’t clean itself up. We were tipped off to some crimey stuff going on at a warehouse down by the southside docks. The three of us decided to head on over there to take care of business. While Vixen scoped out the place, Prophet and I shared a bag of PriceCo Sun Chips. ‘PriceCo Sun Chips, get hip to the chip’ TM. Well, Vixen can’t have all the fun so we eventually all went in and found that these skull-masked hooligans were trying to rob the place. We felt that they may be interested in the Midas experience…much like the Maniax…so we obliged. They went down quickly, but not before some of them peeled off. In fact, it is as we are after them that I am posting this. I guess I should get back to focusing on the situation at hand, but I know those streaming vids leave you wanting more. And who am I but a humble servant to my Fanatics.

So I leave you with this week’s safety tip: “If you don’t practice electrical safety, there can be electrifying results.”

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Episode 1-2: Well, That Escalated Quickly

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MISSION REPORT MM02192 – Initial Report –

Vigil Briefing: 211 at 426 Newgate Avenue. Suspects considered armed and dangerous.

Primary Mission Objective: Retrieve targeted item in Case Marked 241123

Secondary Mission Objective: Stop the theft of Case Marked 241123

Tertiary Mission Objective: Apprehend suspects

Mission Debrief

Submitted by: Miranda Kross aka Copycat

After receiving information from Vigil, I proceeded to the location to rendezvous with Prophet, Vixen, Arc Flash, and Pulsar. En route I received word that the suspects were successful in apprehending Case 241123; however, Prophet, Vixen, and Arc Flash were in pursuit. Shortly thereafter, Vigil informed me that Pulsar was delayed and would not be able to assist. I attempted to contact the pursuing team, but was only able to pick up arguing and what sounded like bad country music.

Vigil provided me with an expected route for the suspects and I met their escape vehicle (a late model Canyonero Econo Van) at the intersection of Dillon Street and South Decker. After transforming into concrete, I was able to redirect the vehicle toward Linwood Avenue before entering the pursuit vehicle (also a late model Canyonero Econo Van) being driven by Arc Flash.

The redirection along with some shortcuts allowed the pursuit vehicle to get close enough for Vixen and myself to leap onto the suspect vehicle. I tore the doors off of the back of the suspects’ van while Vixen engaged the driver by entering through the front passenger side window. Inside the suspects’ van we encountered four suspects: three in the back and the driver. All were dressed in skull motif outfits. Two of the suspects seemed to be suffering from convulsions.

The van crashed into the front of a condemned movie theater. Vixen was thrown from the vehicle along with the driver. In the back of the van, the affected suspects doubled in size; one of them threw me from the vehicle. Vixen and I engaged the suspects while Prophet entered the wrecked vehicle to get Case 241123. Arc Flash meanwhile moved into a suitable position to use his abilities.

With the assistance of Arc Flash, I was able to restrain one of the enlarged suspects. Let the record note that whatever affected them provided them with significant strength and resistance to harm. While Arc Flash and I worked at stopping one enlarged suspect, Vixen fought the other. After I was able to get a handle on things, Arc Flash went to aid Vixen and the two of them were able to incapacitate the other enlarged suspect. Prophet was able to incapacitate the driver after retrieving Case 241123. The last suspect fled the scene.

We are currently awaiting further instructions.

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Episode 1-3: Go. Hunt. Kill Skuls.

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Everything seems to be going more or less as planned. No one seems to suspect that I may not have the heroic ambitions one would assume when ‘pinning on a cape’. I’m getting closer to my goal but I’m still so far away. My current clearance doesn’t allow me access to the files that I need. Something tells me that I need to get closer to Mike Gold. The man is a snake and makes my skin crawl with disgust. How anyone sees him as ‘golden’ is beyond me.

Prophet was acting oddly again. He didn’t seem to remember any of us and this isn’t the first time that he’s acted this way. It seems out of place and I wish I knew the origin of his memory loss. He’s usually quite astute that it sticks out when he seems clueless to a situation. He also isn’t quite so rude to point out my pores. I mean, is any man that stupid? Of course he’s going to get a bladder punch when he’s behaves so rudely.

Prophet at least remembered something and said he wanted to go check out some mission posters. We really must have had nothing better to do, because we decided to roll with the whims of someone who was clearly out of touch with himself. It is like the blind leading the blind. I wonder if the other squads within Midas Multinational operate this way or not.

When we got to the posters there was a girl crying because her brother was one of the missing teenagers. She blamed us, all heroes, for the disappearance of her brother and the other kids. They are all part of a fad called ‘capeing’. They want to be superheroes but they don’t make the cut. If they only knew the dark motivation of the companies they wouldn’t wish to be degraded and owned like we are. Being a superhero is all glamorous on the outside, I know that Arc Flash sure plays into that angle, but at the core we are slaves. Sometimes I wonder if there is actually much of a divide between hero and villain.

Our investigation, into the mission youth, led us to Club Paragon. When we arrived Arc Flash let us in as his entourage and we were waved through the front door. It almost makes me roll my eyes that Arc Flash seems to be his own biggest fan. I am not saying that he isn’t cute or that he doesn’t have other fans, but it is like a hustler buying his own con. I can’t hate him for it. At the most it is annoying. I actually feel a little sorry for him. He’s blinded by the flashy lights of fame and can’t see that he’s really just a puppet. If he only knew how little we actually meant to the company. He’s only good while he’s useful and brings positive attention. He’s in for a rude wake-up call one of these days.

Ellis was at the club and acting really strangely. He hid his hands from me and acted as if he were ashamed or afraid of something. It isn’t too unusual for him to act nervous around pretty girls, and the club was filled with them, but this was somehow different.

The boys were shaking down patrons at the club for information. They found out that there is a drug that is trending among the capeing youth. It is called ‘Dine.’ Gargoyle was able to locate a dealer. I can appreciate the puns that were thrown down in the exchange to buy some of this ‘Dine’. However, the dealer only had once does left and had to leave to get more. He said he would be back, but the boys decide it would be best to follow him.

It should be noted that Ellis acted nervous as fuck when the dealer passed him. I slapped him a few times and told him we would talk later and believe me I have a cosmic ton of words for him if it turns out that he’s been chasing this drug trend. I will lure him out with pizza, if I have to, and do what it takes to get him through some sort of fucking rehab and past withdrawal and the fucker better know that it is out of love.

I don’t know why the boys think that I am stealthy. I am quick, limber, and know how to punch, but stealthy isn’t really part of the package. I did my best to follow the drug dealer without being noticed. Arch Flash tried to use his fame to direct the attention off of me. It worked to some degree, but I know the dealer noticed me. I’m just lucky that he didn’t seem to think anything of a girl doing her make up.

He led us to a low end apartment building. We trailed him down the stairs where a green miasma hovered close to the ceiling. It was above our heads, which I am grateful for because I don’t want to find out what would happen if we breathed that shit in.

Arc Flash zapped himself though the outlet, took out most of the targets in the room, and knocked out the power. Gargoyle burst through the wall. I wish I could say it was an easy fight, but it wasn’t. The leader of the skulls, I guess they want to call him ‘Bone Daddy’, did some crazy hoodoo and reached into me. It was like he pulled out part of my soul. It felt…wrong. It shook me up and made me shiver. I had a harder time hitting him after that.

To complicate matters some crazy as fuck Trolls burst into the room and starting beating and shooting the place up. It was like they didn’t care what they attacked. It was crazy as fucking balls. They started to take out the support columns. Dust started to fall from the ceiling and it was pretty clear that they were going to bring the whole fucking building down on our heads.

Vigil called in back up and Prophet pulled the fire alarms in an effort to clear the building before it collapse on us.

Oh, I forgot to mention, the smaller Trolls were identified as the missing youth. Only they were green.

It was a mess.

But in the end we managed to apprehend almost all the Skulls and Trolls, get everyone out of the building before it caved in, and we have notified the family of the youth that we’ve found them. It seems like a good outcome, but I don’t know. The only time I’ve seen anyone behave like that was when we had that car chase and fought those skulls last week.

It makes me question a few things. The more I think about it, the more I wonder exactly why the supers serum was being stored in a warehouse? And how did the Skulls even know that the serum was there in there? It all sounds pretty sketchy to me. Or maybe I am just over thinking the whole situation.

I’ll update again soon.

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Episode 1-4: Regulators!

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So we had a press conference, it was a bit of a chore but I at least got to look good for an audience, it’s the little things that make this job worth while. Though having to witness first hand that reporter, what a total idiot or brave soul depending on how you view this world.

Seriously though, how dare she fire those shots at our company in front of everyone, it’s no wonder she disappeared, did I forget that? Oh yeah right, Linda Summers totally disappeared after the press conference. The big guy and his rather enticing yet older secretary seemed to have handled business, I’m not sure there weren’t many fucks given on my part in that department, Prophet may know more.

Speaking of, he, Vixen and I took a little field trip to the lab to check up on our green buddies. Seems they’re dropping like flies after their wicked high, what a pity, a wasted high is a wasted life. Prophet and the doctor seemed to have shared an intimate moment, again not many fucks given on my part there but I’m sure Prophet can tell you more.

It was after that little trip that things took a turn for the worst, a trip down memory lane. Our faithful reporters whereabouts took me and the other two to my old stomping grounds. There I was tasked with the misery of contacting my ex, seriously fuck Greg for not giving me straight answers, not that I ever gave him any but still, sucks to be on the opposite end. After no luck from Greg my little nostalgia-filled sundae was topped with a brick house of a cherry, specifically my old friend Abby Dynes She of course proceeded to call me a sell out for well being one, luckily she had a handy USB that I was able to acquire from her and give to Prophet.

After that daily dose of embarrassment and regret I and my two faithful compadres proceeded to unleash hell on some Skulls or ‘follow up’ if you want to be a dork. There we were given the location to a base where all three of us provided some serious kick ass to the skulls. I’m pretty sure Vixen was able to cock block and give blue balls all in the same night, that was seriously impressive. The skull boss, not so much, he was kind of a pussy, who got…lucky. His luck ran out and he poured details about being a bit of a mule for some secretive higher up type I got his phone and sent it on over to brain boy, and I believe our new skull pal is hanging out with someone named Prometheus.

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Episode 1-5: Everything That Glitters...

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The rest of the Eternals were called away on missions, went to get their haircuts, or some other super lame reason to bring up my abandonment issues. Fortunately, I had seen this coming and already had dialed up Vixen. Time to go check out that USB drive that Abby gave us. First we had to ditch a posse of low-end reporters who were claiming that I am some uncontrollable destroyer of worlds. I resisted the temptation to punch one of them. Somehow they walked off with a story about Vixen being a drunk. I am honestly lost on this point, but whatever, they shoved off. Vixen and I hit up the library – Vixen called it an untraceable location – and our cunning friend got to business. I played look-out.

Patrons took fourteen books off the shelves around us, while the librarian re-shelved six. One gentleman coughed twelve times. One woman’s heart started racing, she wrote down four words in cursive, and she tore off towards the door. Two teens had holed up in the study room, heart beats escalating too, then him stifling a moan, the release, her pulling her hand from his pants. The coughing man brought up a tissue and spat into it. The woman headed towards the door pulled out her cell and made a call, she called the recipient Molly; Molly called her Lee. Lee could have had a lot going for her if she took any time to take care of herself. She looked worn out, frazzled. A little excited at the moment, but also a little scared. She blasted out the door and out of my life. Just another mystery I’ll never solve. I’ll never see Lee again, I know.

Vixen got the information from the drive. She told me part of it. I confess to not really listening. The world is a distracting place for me. Anyways it was pretty much exactly what we expected, grasping at straws, circling the truth with no hard evidence. One part really stuck out, though: Linda was on to some theory about clean-up crews that took witnesses from superhero events and made them disappear. She thought there was some secret lab at Midas that they were taken to, experimented on, and never came back from. Turns out, I know just the place. Whatever her motivations are, Vixen was totally down for breaking in there. Me, well, I just had to know. The future can be as clear as a bell. The past, hell. Let’s just say I don’t even trust my own name anymore.

We ran into a complication of sorts on the way in. Gun Bunny. Girl has a name to go with her unending optimism, but I mean she actually has bunny ears. Only they’re like… electrical. Kids these days. Well she’s pretty sold on this whole Midas Do-Gooder line, which is great. She should really be out there helping people, but here she was all cheerfully interfering with our attempt to fly under the radar. Whatever. She can control technology, so we just brought her along. We’ll see what she does with the truth.

So we got on the elevator and I just sort of knew where to go. You get used to it. The elevator thought I was the good doc, though. Weird, we’ll stick a pin in that for now. So we dropped down to the super secret basement level and yep, there were my favorite recliners. Standing in the room where they have erased my memory so many countless times, administered and re-administered the serums, each time deciding whether to terminate or re-inject me… the rage starts building. I wanted to tear this place down. Instead I resorted to a little preparation in case I end up here again, and then we all hid when a second elevator began to open.

I could describe for you, down to every wrinkle in his palm, to the way his breathing sounds, his wretched heart beats, his bladder moves, the uneven click his $600 shoes make that most likely means his left foot is 1/3rd of an inch shorter than the right, the god-awful product in his over-stylized hair that rubs on his collar just the tiniest bit when he turns his head, I could describe it all. I have memorized every evil detail. For brevity, though, we’ll just say in walked Mr. Shaw, followed by a couple of security guards and a body bag on a gurney. They dumped it in a storage vault – much like a morgue. I pulled the whole bit from their minds – ambulance or van pulls up, Mr. Shaw meets it with them, body comes down here. They were just as terrified of him as everyone else. Since Shaw’s our only suspect for Prometheus, we had our handler call the number for Prometheus on a burner we got from one of the gang bosses. Mr. Shaw’s phone rang, but he didn’t answer.

After they leave we inspected the bodies. No surprise at this point, really. Everyone we’ve ever turned over to Midas for questioning, even for the slightest reason, has been experimented on, died, and ended up here. Gun Bunny did her mojo with the computer here. More vital signs. More serum. Mine flickered by, and I tried to compare it to the others. Am I different? Am I further along? Our handler has talked about how the Trolls got greener and stronger with more and more serum. About how he is supposed to alert people when certain things happen. Does my serum go bad? Am I insane? Will I kill again? Um, yeah, totally. But, will it always be justified? These thoughts raced through my mind as the other two dither on about what we should do. We bail, and regroup in the coffee shop. Gun Bunny seemed to be having a crisis of faith. I tried to listen, but who am I to help?

I heard a voice in my mind, telling me to make things right. Telling me to kill Prometheus. Well, thanks, hot older chick who was showing us her ass as the door hit it, for not explaining a damn thing. I’ll get right on that. Got any clues?

Turns out that Midas did. We instantly got a mission. They believed Crey Industries had Prometheus at a secure location. It’s a simple go forth and murder. Er, Sweep and Clear? Anyways, sounded way too easy. So we got there, and snuck up through the bushes all Scooby-Doo like. I picked up a dozen or so minds in and around the area. Some were in freaking power armor. Gun Bunny started messing with them right away, sending one guy inside to check his helmet. Meanwhile I started reading minds, trying to whittle down to where the target was. Once we found our man, Gun Bunny distracted the guards by turning on all the appliances in the house, and then she melted a hole through the wall into the closet of the bedroom we needed to enter.

Vixen assumed bad-ass mode. She went pop-goes-the-weasel out of the closet and took a guy out literally before he registered any real thought. She also got the door closed. I followed in, grabbed the hood off the target and confirmed what I already knew – we’d just found Linda Summers. I threw her over my shoulder and beat an exit. Shit happened behind me, but I was a bit busy. I heard some grunting, electrical zapping, and not much more, and then the girls are throwing themselves in the van with me. We tore ass back to Abby’s.

Right now, Linda’s resting up. Gun Bunny seems like she could use a drink. Vixen seems like, well, Vixen. Unshakeable. And Abby is still insisting that this is just casual, that she doesn’t want a relationship, that she doesn’t trust a Corper, no matter how awesomely handsome I am.

For her sake, I hope she doesn’t begin to trust me. Even I don’t know what I might do.

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Episode 1-6: Corporate Trust

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So, after saving that reporter, and finding out more about the drug on the streets, and this mysterious “Prometheus”, we… as in Prophet, Vixen, and I… we met up and tried to figure out what to do next, especially since we know that Crey is involved somehow. Vixen got a call from someone, and she got all super worried. I asked her if she was alright, and she said she was. I know she wasn’t. I could tell. i wasn’t going to push, though. I don’t think she likes me, but I just wanted to help. Anyway, she took off to some guy named Ellis’s place while Prophet and I went to check out a warehouse that was on a schedule of pickups for bodies that came to that area underneath the Midas Multinational building, where we saw tall, dark and totally douchebaggy guy Shaw, where I totally got that schedule in the first place. Go me!

When Prophet and I get to the warehouse, it just suddenly exploded. I mean, it was like one of those action movie moments, seriously. Then a ton of guys with guns coming after us. So, I went into total Kate Beckensale, Milla jojovich Resident Evil mode and start taking guys down. I got shot. It hurt. I think I’m going to have a scar. Oh, wait… tangent, sort of. Back to the breakdown. So, prophet gets a truck and goes right into a bunch of guys and then starts going all Mark Ruffalo, minus the green and CGI, but still like total rage monster. These guys were from Crey, or so we think, especially since one had a power nullifier device on his chest. It took everything I had to convince it to power down. So, while Prophet was going all Pele with a live grenade, I decided to create an kinetic energy field around my hands. I need to come up with a name for those… the Blue Balls of Pain? No, that even creeps me out. They’re more like pom-poms that cheerleaders use, though the cheerleaders I knew were complete bitches… oops, tangenting… so I call up the Pom-Poms of Doom. Yeah, I like that. Anyway, I try to hit the guy… and I miss. Twice. Frak me. Then he called me a nerd. So I shot him. Yeah… don’t call me a nerd. While all this was going on, Vixen got attacked at her friend Ellis’s place at the same time, and I let her know about the nullifier device, so once she took that out, she was able to wipe the floor with her attackers for a bit so she could get herself and that Ellis guy out of there.

After all of this, we get a priority message from our Eterni-comms (that’s what I call them… I don’t think the others would like it, though), figuring it’d be from our own personal Cisco Ramon in Vigil, but who was it calling us back to the headquarters? It was tall, dark and creepy Mr. Shaw, saying that he is going to be handling us. So, when we wanted Cisco, we got Damian Darkh… great. With all of these other people dying, this is totally making me worry about Vigil. I never got to tell him that I thought he was kind of cute. So, that’s it for now… I so need a drink right now… a nice pumpkin spice latte with extra foam would be so awesome right now.

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Episode 1-7: Crey's Folly

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My name is Antonio “Vigil” Nash. If you’re listening to this data file, it means that I’m probably already dead… or I’ve been kidnapped… or I’ve most likely moved to Jersey. Yesterday, I went above my access seeking out this Prometheus guy, looking into files that were way above my paygrade. I got curious, and it’s going to cost me big.

It started with Prophet giving me the Skull leader’s burner. It was easy enough to trace a few locations from the call log. Then I saw the bio-strands. It’s really odd how similar the bio-strands are of the Eternals and those who used Superdine. It’s like almost looking like the same person. First I thought Dr. Vasilikos was Prometheus. He definitely gives off this Island of Dr. Monreau vibe. But looking into Dr. Creepy McCreeperton had me grasping at straws. It didn’t take long to change my choice. Like the rest of the team, I started thinking Shaw was Prometheus. So I tailed him…. Like a lot. Like all Max Cady Cape Fear style. I could tell you his daily schedule, how he takes his coffee in the morning, when he goes to the… Holy Sidetrack, Batman. Look, point is, I was tailing him one day, and he saw me. He freakin’ looked right at me.

I played it off, at least I think I did. I came back to the office and started doing some digging, which brings me back to the start of my epic fail. I started looking into him and some security detail called Blackgate. Guys all had tats of snakes. Hello, Slytherin anyone? I managed to find out they work for Shaw. And now… Oh no! I’ve been caught.

I mean why else would Shaw and three of his “Yes” Men show up on my floor. I’m taking a company earbud from my monitor station and bugging out. His men are fanning out looking for me. Frakking Hell! Shaw just took my seat and punched in talking to the team. I’m leaving Gold Plaza now, listening in on the mission detail.

Shaw was ordering the team to infiltrate Crey Biotech, and leave some high end tech to send info back to Midas. Sounded like some Mission Impossible shit. And the team is giving him attitude. I am so proud. Then someone accused Shaw of killing me. I’m not dead, guys! But you guys can’t hear me. Now I look like the crazy person on the L talking to himself.

How are the Eternals going to pull this off? I mean Shaw had left them high and dry without an entrance and exit strategy. What a dick! This was sounding like a suicide mission, and it’s probably the last time I hear their voices.

Oh! Gunbunny distracted some IT employees at a food truck while Vixen managed to steal their ID cards. Sweet! Gunbunny is on point with the nerd talk. All of her pop culture references make my geek heart sing. If I get through this, I am going to ask her out to dinner.

The team manages to get past the security checks, Crey agents, and some overly friendly water cooler jockey. They escape into a storage room, and Gunbunny Little Miss Gunbunnyreviews the building layout. Now they are doing some hardcore movie ventilation system crawl. And Gunbunny with the Die Hard reference. #swoon.

I’m home now. It’s as exactly like I left it. No ransacking means they haven’t been here yet, and my time is running out. I’m booting up my pc and packing some essentials. The team is saying something about someone wanting them to follow him. Something about She wants to talk to them. Is it the Countess herself? What the- The audio is all warbly.

I’m plugging the earbud to my cradle, and loading a program I’ve been working on. It was supposed to be the thing that got me that big promotion, but I hadn’t worked out all of the kinks. I’m turning the slider now.

< Audible tuning noise >

< Woman’s voice > “… want you… Plaza.. during…. Gala…. All… I want…. Prometheus…”

I’m uploading this datafile, setting it to send automatically in five days for when I can come back and cancel it. But who am I kidding. I’m a dead man. Dead, as I won’t have an after credits scene sipping on marguerites with the team on a beach. As in, I just rolled a one and some dick GM is going to kill me. Whoever finds this, tell the Eternals that I love them, and that they did the right thing. Tell them I…

< two thwerp noises followed by a thud >




< end transmission >

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Episode 1-8: The Harder They Fall

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We had to jump from working for the devil we know to doing a job for the devil we don’t. I won’t say that I trust Countess Crey, but I will admit that some of her goals for the time being do line up with my own. She’s offering us a way off of Gold’s leash. Hopefully we can trust her to keep at least that much of her word.

Getting ready for tonight was unlike any other mission I’ve pulled off to date. I can honestly say that Vigil never required us to do anything that would have me shopping for a new dress. Tonight is the Charity Gala and I need to look the part. Believe it or not it took some thought; I needed a dress that made me look good as well as one I could whip some butt…just in case. It is cliché, but I just went with a little black dress. I could at least hide a pair of biker shorts underneath.

With the nature of our current mission I felt I had to take a few … protective measures. I didn’t want to go back to see Ellis, because I didn’t know if I was being followed or not, but I did call him to make sure he was still breathing. He’s fine. Reached level 85…so yeah..he’s having fun. Probably smells like Red Bull, Doritos, and gamer funk, but I have no doubt that he’s a happy camper. I also took time to stash some of my more important belongings at the bus station, just in case I needed to ditch out of town. It is true that Prophet and I have been on a few failed missions (not counting the last one with Crey), but if all goes well I won’t need to worry about going underground. I hope.

A curious side note, I received a little package from the Countess. A flash drive and a little note fell out it opened; the note read: “For Tonight .”

Prophet, Gunbunny, and I met to discuss our plans and exactly what part each of us would play in tonight’s … festivities. Prophet thinks that he can provide an adequate distraction. The Countess sent Gunbunny a VR head visor thing, so she (Gunbunny not the countess) will take care of any technical issues we are facing (security, penthouse access, etc.). That leaves me to do the dangerous and dirty work of actually going up stairs to snoop around Mr. Gold’s Penthouse.

Joy.

It was time to go on with the show. We arrived together, Gunbunny, Prophet , and I. Hopefully it just looked like we were work friend, or that we went out for dinner right before we showed up to ‘work’. I’d much rather everyone think that Prophet is Pimp-Daddy McP with a blonde on one arm and a Brunette on the other than for the truth of why we were arriving together cross anyone’s mind.

We didn’t stay hooked attached at the hip though. Dr. Anders (Bunny) made quite a pretty wallflower as she placed herself in the corner, Prophet went to rub elbows and schmoozing as a cover for psychically probing for intel, and I went to the bar. The press already thinks I am an alcoholic, even though I am NOT. I guess there are worse rumors to be going around. I am pretty sure I’d hurl if anyone wrote anything about me …. Uhh … Shining Michael’s gold Nuggets.

Prophet may be seen as a loose wire and I can see why that is frightening. It is frightening what he can pull from people’s minds without even putting forth much effort. It makes me wonder how many times he has scanned my thoughts.

Shudder.

I’ll try not to think about it.

He did gather some useful information. Dr. Vasilikos was bored by his date (I assume?) prattling on about fashion and super heroes. All he really wanted to get back to the lab and work. While Mr. Shaw (aka Mr. Creepy McMurderface)’s mind was all wrapped up with the idea of power, both gaining it and keeping it (also at least slightly assumed).

There wasn’t one thing I can do about handing Shaw power, but I could help the Doctor with his issues. I may have ‘accidentally’ spilled wine on his date, so that he could buzz off and escape. It didn’t go exactly as planned. He didn’t leave. I may have winked at him and he thought I was interested in him. I told him he could make his escape and he asked me where I wanted to go. How am I supposed to react to that? I stammered for words and asked him to go up to his lab. It was rather awkward. He thought I wanted to do something ‘fun’…I am not exactly sure on his idea of ‘fun’ in this case… and I also get the impression that he doesn’t think I’d understand his work. I think he thinks that I am just a pretty face that happens to be able to punch things because of his work.
How arrogant can someone be?

I am NOT a wh**e.

I am MORE than just a pretty face and to think he thought, or may have thought, that I would just lay down and spread my legs for him is revolting and insulting. He is such a d**che nozzle.

POMPOUS, PRESUMPTUOUS PIG.

Anyway, I guess it worked in a fashion, I guess. He did leave and go back to his lab. So, at least one person is gone that we don’t have to worry about, right?

Prophet had already moved in and was talking to Miss. Huckabee anyway. He can be a smooth talker, I will give him that. I didn’t really have anything else keeping me occupied (and we were working on a time frame after all), so I headed over to the elevators.

Gunbunny made sure she was safely in the bathroom (as we had earlier decided was the best place for her to go VR) and all I had to wait for her to do her cyber magic. She managed to gain control of the elevators and get both the alarms and cameras in my path under her control before she ran into a bit of a hiccup. Luckily for me she squashed whatever cyberspace was throwing at her in time to allow me access to Gold’s Penthouse. Not so Luckily, Cyberspace stuck back and she was rather busy dealing with that the rest of the mission

Some careful maneuvering on my part and the Penthouse was a cakewalk. I only ran into one out of five security guards and he was easy enough to handle. I put him in a chair and pulled his hat over his face. With any luck he will think it was all a dream and Gold won’t kill him ‘too’ much for sleeping on the job. I did see where Gold sleeps. It makes me feel icky to be that close to where he ‘makes the magic happen’, but I can now say that I know where he sleeps and have it be a completely accurate threat.

He also has a hot tub. The thought of ‘Hot Tub Gold’ makes me want to vomit. Gross.

I digress, the files I was looking for were easier to get than I thought they would be. All I had to do was guess his password. He had a file labeled Prometheus Project. Can’t be much more obvious than that. It was almost like he never worried about someone sneaking into his penthouse to download from his private files. I am willing to wager that similar jobs will be much more difficult to pull off in the future. The file contained info about everyone in the Eternals. Prometheus was the title name given to the invention of the serum that gives us our powers. It was all Dr. Stein‘s doing, but is he ’Prometheus’ or is there someone else behind the curtain. Gold has also known that I am Bethari Reynard the entire time, Prophet’s real name is Adam STEIN, and Gold is Gunbunny‘s Uncle (not to mention that he’s Pulsar’s Daddy).

Prophet let me know that I was running out of time and that Gold was on the move. I was going to look for more info, but the Countess let me know that what I’d procured was adequate. I hustled my bet onto the elevator and got off on the second floor to take the stairs down. I was half way down when I heard gunshots and a scream and I ran two stairs at a time the rest of the way.

Linda Summers (where the hell did she come from?) was lying unconscious on the floor and I ran almost face first into Michael Gold. A very pissed off Mr. Gold. I tried to back pedal and get the hell out of his way, but he saw me and no excuse I fumbled to make seemed to please him. He grabbed me and forced me back onto the stairs. We were going down and he made sure that I hit the wall as many times as he possible could.

What did I do to him? I mean… I know what I did to him, but what did he think I’d done to him?

I was rather shaken by the time he shoved on to the lab in the lower levels. He wrapped his hand around my throat and told me he remembered when he had his hand around my mother’s throat. Dr. Vasilikos (how the hell did he get down there so fast?) watched over his shoulder as Gold told me all about how he remembered her begging for her life and wondered if I’d beg for mine. I didn’t. He confessed to killing both my parents. I made sure that he knows I think he’s a disgusting, pathetic blob. Dr. Vasilikos prepare the shot. The KILLSWITCH shot. How is he going to try to pick me up (So maybe that was partially my fault) and then take place in my murder? A**hat! It didn’t really matter because the syringe was only in Gold’s hand for a few seconds before I kicked it out (Without anyone seeing my panties. Who is laughing at shorts under my skirt now?! ). I looked at Vasilikos to plead him for a hand, but no, he really is a d**che. Confirmed.

Gold asked for the Dr. to get him another syringe. I took the moment to just knock Gold out. Sometimes a lady just has to save herself, you know?

Just then Gunbunny and Prophet made it down into the lab. Bunny caught Mr. Gold and helped him gently to the ground. I feel bad for her. She just found out that she has family alive, and now she has to leave him behind. To be fair, her family is a murdering, psychopathic f*cktard. So maybe she isn’t really missing out on much. Prophet was in the mood to kill, but I told him to cool it.

It was time to get out of there. I know that Bunny was reluctant to go. I really do feel bad about pulling her down with us. I hope that at least in some sense we’ve helped her instead of just ruining her whole life. A girl can dream, right?

I, myself, didn’t leave until I made sure to give the good Dr. V a piece of my mind. I am nowhere near as stupid as he assumes that I am. He is going to be missing out and I hope he knows it.

Did I almost sound interested in him for a moment? Not I. I swear… Really…

Really…

He’s a self-centered, egotistical Jerk-face.

We still aren’t out of the woods yet. We are on the way back to Crey to get our killswitches removed and Prophet called his father and it turns out that Dr. Stine is in a bit of a pickle.

I’ll help him out, but I need to figure out how to bring ‘justice’ to Gold now that I have a (confession from his very own mouth) that he murdered both my parents so he could take over their company. And I really hope that there will be something to hit when we go help Dr. Stine. I have all this rage boiling in my veins. I’m sure that most of it has to do with Gold, but every time I think of Dr. V now I just feel like I’m going to turn into a less friendly version of SheHulk.

TL;DR – We got the info, but not without a snag. Gold Confessed to Murder. I’m pretty sure we are out of a job. AND Dr. Vasilikos is a mammoth A**HOLE for thinking that I am all tits and no brain.

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